Recently I was in an accident, first one in over 20 years and first major one ever. I walked away just fine in the moment but got more sore as the day went on. That night, I woke up around 1 am and was in tremendous pain. My knee, which was only a bit wobbly after the accident, was on fire and I could hardly put weight on it. I hobbled back to bed and began to pray. I asked God for all the things I needed as it pertained to the accident, healing of my knee being one of them.
I laid there for about 2 hours praying (and complaining about the problems I’d face in the morning as it pertained to the accident). In the morning, I woke up just fine.
No pain.
No wobbliness.
Nothing at all.
But I was still hesitant throughout the day. I believed God healed me. But . . .
Mark 9:24 came to mind – I believe but help my unbelief.
That’s EXACTLY how I felt.
When we talk about the role God plays in a journey toward life free of pornography & lust, we must be convinced of His grace, mercy, love, and patience for us.
And those are not easy things to believe.
Does God TRULY love me just as I am?
Is He REALLY forgiving of my sins? What about THAT sin? What about THAT time . . . I watched that time & knowingly masturbated without regret in the moment?
Does grace work that way for ME?
My role is really THAT SMALL in all this?
You believe but you have unbelief.
Zoom out on the passage in Mark. Look at the surrounding verses.
Verse 16 – ‘What are you ARGUING about?’
There was an argument ensuing. People were disagreeing and going back & forth on something. What was that?
They were arguing about the inability of the disciples to cast the demon out of the boy. And the argument surrounded faith. We know this b/c of verse 19 when Jesus calls them a FAITHLESS generation.
They bring Jesus the boy and the father asks Jesus to heal him IF he can. In verse 23 Jesus rebukes him and explains that all is possible for those with faith.
The father then says, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’.
I believe . . . but mostly.
I believe . . . but kinda.
I believe . . . but I’m going to carefully put weight on my knee, be careful going up & down the stairs, not doing any jumping for a couple days!
And in verse 25 Jesus casts the demon out of the boy.
The miracle though didn’t come from the boy’s father suddenly believing; it came from him asking God to help him with his inadequacies.
It came from him saying, I’m doing my best, but can you help me with the rest?
Admitting his shortcomings before God.
THAT’S where the miracle came in.
You might not see right now how God’s grace fully works in your life. How it expunges your record of wrongs. How God can truly see you as His child in the midst of your sin.
And that might be a key part to living that Abundant Life we talked about a way’s back.
But talk to God about that.
Admit your inadequacies.
And He will make up the difference.
Thoughts to Pray/Journal:
- In what ways can you identify with the boy’s father? Believing but having unbelief.
- How can you better take that shortcoming to God & lay it at His feet? What would that look like each day or week?
Reading: