I work with a guy named Jim. I use the word ‘work’ very loosely because Jim lives on the opposite side of the state from me and works in a completely different department. However, we interact from time to time and the instant I met him, I knew he was a Christian. He had a warm affect and he always has something positive to say.
No matter the situation or challenge of the moment, Jim is kind. He always looks on the bright side and wants others to feel better after interacting with him. Jim is who comes to mind when I think of the second type of relationship guys need – Barnabas.
Barnabas was a man from Cyprus originally named Joseph. He earned the nickname Barnabas by the apostles because he was such an encourager. He was always willing to lend a helping hand to the Early Church and became someone on whom Paul depended.
You need a few Barnabases in your life. Not everyone is going to make this cut but you need at least 3-5 of these guys. Here are some features of a Barnabas:
- Encourager – This is probably the most prevalent attribute of a Barnabas. You need someone who can encourage you when you get down on yourself or down on life. Someone that is rooted in their faith and can help build you up when life has beaten you down.
- Willingness – A Barnabas is willing to help when you need it. It’s not that they’re on call 24/7 for you but if you need help moving or need help picking up a washer or dryer, they’re there for you.
- Two-way Communication – This type of relationship is not one-sided. In fact, there are days your Barnabas will need encouragement & help from you, and you’re there for him. You know those people that always take from you? Emotionally or otherwise? That is not how these relationships work.
- Laughter – Be sure you laugh a lot with your Barnabases. This is key to building a relationship and will give you points of reference later. For guys, laughing (and probably at each other’s expense) is a great way to strengthen things.
Last note on these relationships . . . they take time to build.
It’s not going to happen overnight, and not all guys are going to become a Barnabas in your life. But you’re not going to have a Barnabas without effort & intentional focus.
Say yes to the men’s event at your church.
Say yes when you’re invited to be a part of the group.
Communicate often and be intentional.
Thoughts to Journal/Pray:
- How many Barnabases do you have in your life? What can you do to strengthen those relationships?
- What sort of positive risks do you need to take in relationships to solicit some Barnabas-type relationships?
Reading: