Pumpkin pie has never been a staple for me at any holiday meal. Maybe it’s where I grew up but I’ve never had a problem saying no as it’s never had an appeal to me. You can serve me a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream and I can easily turn it down without even having to think about it.
Pecan pie on the other hand, needs to not even be in the house for me to say no.
I have internal regulators for pumpkin pie, but I need external regulators for pecan pie.
Are you with me? . . . maybe not with these pies but . . . are you with me?
Apps like Ever Accountable or Covenant Eyes are great tools to employ as external regulators. These apps will require some form of payment but also an accountability partner so those are things to sort through ahead of time.
I know some guys who password protect their internet (router or otherwise) to where they can’t access adult websites.
Some guys actively take steps to not be left home alone.
Some don’t take their phone in the bathroom or bedroom.
Whatever you need to do for an external regulator that works for you, do it.
You WILL NOT be free from pornography & lust if you do not employ some degree of external regulations.
Let’s just go a tad deeper with the idea of external regulators though.
I would argue that our thoughts (which can be sinful) are where poor choices are conceived.
And even if not all those thoughts translate to behavior, if we’re truly going to live free of pornography & lust, we have to change our thoughts.
As such, you need external regulators there as well. Let me give you two common examples.
- Review what you’re about to watch on tv or at the movies. I would argue that given how sexualized images affect our brains, no Christian man should offer himself up to view such, even in something that is otherwise decent entertainment.
- Limit the relationships you have with the opposite sex. While it is important to be courteous and friendly, particularly in the workplace, having a firm boundary, which may require you to say no to social engagements or otherwise, is a good external regulator which will help protect your thoughts.
Again, let me be clear, ALL OF US NEED SOME DEGREE OF EXTERNAL REGULATORS.
Some of those are short-term while others are long-term. It’s just a matter of figuring out what those need to look like for you.
Thoughts to Pray/Journal:
- What would some external regulators look like for you?
- What would be the advantages to employing some of these? What would be some barriers?
- What is the scariest thing about these external regulators & what do you need to ask God for should you need these?
Reading: